SKAC

Going to the Storm King Art Center (Mountainville, NY) is a delicious intriguing experience, for people who like contemporary art. In the very south if the Catskills, this art center combines the smooth landscape of the Storm King mountain to GIGANTIC outdoor sculptures. Some would argue that the natural landscape did not need the presence of those human strange artifacts to be beautiful. However, seeing the leaves flying around those blocks of metal or wood has a certain geometric poetry. See it and like it ! Pictures soon...

Interesting experience: being trapped behind the huge fence of Sleepy Hollow dutch cemetery, during Halloween night. Buuuuuuuh.

Anniversaire

C'est l'anniversaire de ma soeur. J'aurai aime lui apporter du sourire en boite, par le fil du telephone satellite telecom a carte sans fil. Mais les souffles de conversation ont peine a porter la moindre particule de bonheur. Cette famille croule sous la sombreur. Une mere a l'hosto; une soeur en divorce; les cendres du pere; le fils en equilibre instable sur un autre continent, a se demander comment pourquoi et a quoi bon.

Aucune reponse. Personne ne donnera de reponses.

In the lake district

God save the Britrock

I went to a conference in the UK (Lake District, Cumbria) and god... It's amazing to hear the British accent. I' no longer used to it and I can barely understand the people (and the contrary was true, not surpricingly!).

English has so many diverse variations. The various international French accents do not seem so different to me. And I lived quite a long time in different francophone environments. A super interesting website (International dialects of English archive) gives some samples of many dialects in UK and in the world: here.

A thousand leaves

We were supposed to meet at the Byblos. Yep, the Iranian restaurant where we always wanted to go for brunch. Where I wrote her a craft letter on a nappe long like two meters.

But, it was closed.

Then we went at the Cafe de Montreal. I Remember well the first day of opening of this small cafe. She already was with him. I was so sad. Always too sad because of her.

So we sat. At the wrong place because I did not dare to propose to move. There was a guy on my right listening to us. I was here.

I said nice things I think. We exchanged presents. Always gifts. That's also a way to communicate. To say: I still think of you. I still have affection for you.

"This is the very last discussion that we have. I can't stand any longer to be close to you, without touching you. Without this hope that you finally still love me. I'm just too sad if you're not mine."

She did not say anything, except the fact that she was going to move with her man. I probably wanted to hear this. So we left.

She left on her bike. I smiled. Wished her good luck. Two drops of warm salted water on the cheek. Then I walked. Offered her Adrian Tomine's Sleepwalk.

Voices from the past

Impossible to have a real discussion with her. First, each time I try to call her on this crapy phone, it doesn't work. Then the jet lag between France and the US. She leaves me a message saying. She's in China. She's in Russia. She's in Canada.

But what type of conversation can you have with your ex ?
I sometimes think of her, and I wonder if she's ok or not. But do I really care ? Should I really know it ?

What I wouldn't like to hear:

Yes, sure, I'm soooo happy, I've never been so happy in my life. Perhaps I'm going to marry and have a kid.

A nightmare. I often think she would answer me that. She actually nevers answers me that.

Anyway, I don't know anything about her life. Is she with someone ? What does she do at night ? Does she love anyone ? Does she still speak while she sleeps ? Is she still undecently naked in bed ? Does she still have the same perfume, allure ? The same pairs of jeans ? Is she always laughing so loud ? Does she still listen to Joy Division or New Order ?

No. I don't know. Our conversation can be summarized by a "ca va ? Tu te sens bien ?".

Je n'arrivais jamais a lui dire au revoir. Cela me demandait une energie, et une determination que je n'avais pas. Comment dire au revoir a quelqu'un que tu ne veux pas quitter. Que tu ne veux absolument pas quitter.

Un nuage noir m'engoncait completement quand venait l'heure de se quitter. Elle avait un malin plaisir a me dire "Salut" et a sourire ensuite, sautillant sur elle meme pour me tourner le dos.

Moi je restais la. Pesant une tonne... Non, ne pars pas... Ou plutot, oui pars, fais comme tu l'entends. Mais comprends tu cependant que je ne veux plus te dire au revoir ? Non, tu ne le vois pas. Tu ne vois rien. Tu me laisses dans ma solitude noire.